“No One Can Push You in a Toxic Relationship After Reading this All,,
Gautama Buddha once said;
“The root of all the suffering is attachments,
If we ponder on the above mentioned saying then we can easily get a strong reason for most of our issues and shortcomings in daily life which are certainly due to attachments that we have developed over time.
“Emotional Attachment is actually the feeling of closeness, warmth, liking and devotion that supports in the maintenance of meaningful relationship over a period of time,
Emotional Attachment is not a bad thing as it must be present within a healthy limit and some level of attachment is healthy in relationships e.g
“A baby without a healthy emotional attachment with her mother cannot learn and grow properly, but on the other hand, I would like to mention a very common example of the present-day i.e“A person who is suffering financially but living in his/her comfort zone and not willing to take a risk in the life can never change the financial conditions as he or she is emotionally attached to the current job/occupation or business strongly.
Emotional Attachment plays an important role in human connections. It is worth here mentioning that the initial and earliest bonds we form with parents and family members can serve as an important milestone and transform the attachments we develop to friends and romantic partners later in life. One can become emotionally attached to people even without romantic or physical i.e sexual attraction. Just a feeling of closeness to somebody can helps you bond and ultimately increases the sense of connection. This attachment or connection may help us feel safe, relaxed, happy, fulfilled and sometimes exhilarated and ecstatic when that particular person accompanies us.
Lasting love also depends very much on healthy attachments patterns in order to nourish and flourish but these are the two different things. In fact, our emotional attachments to friends and romantic partners help these to blossom over time and without these, we may feel lonely.
For example: As the first intense and passionate feelings of love for a particular person are faded away after a dispute/contention; there may be a desire for having a new best friend or buddy.
The main difference between attachment and love lies in the reason behind these two; as generally, we do not love someone conditionally i.e just because of what they can do or provide. We love them regardless of this, in actual we love them because they’re who they are. Obviously, romantic relationship attains and satisfy our critical and important needs but relationships based on love involve mutual giving, caring and support and we do not love somebody just because they meet our desires and needs. On the other hand, an attachment can start emerging when needs for closeness, intimacy, validation or anything other go unfilled. When we find somebody who fulfils those needs, we might grow a strong attachment to them.
It is an admitted fact that everyone has needs and everyone wants those needs meet & also there’s nothing wrong to find someone who fulfils important needs but it is more important to know how to meet these needs by your own self, as well. Because depending on somebody else to “complete, you can create issue and sufferings for you both.
Sometimes; Emotional Attachment becomes increased and it is transformed into another shape which can be referred to as an emotional dependency as mentioned earlier that has adverse effects on our relationship and overall well being. It can be identified by the help of the following symptoms as:
• One always under attacked by low self-esteem and requires validation and other’s approval and opinions.
• Lack of clarity and a meaningful purpose/ goal in life.
• Small conflicts with others become bone of contention due to all this scenario and a feeling of emptiness, being hurt or depressed can be experienced.
This results in the development of a mindset like you need somebody & cannot live without them and ultimately we do whatever it takes to keep this relation going on and also we start compromising on several things like our behavioural patterns, goals, ambition and interests. In fact, one’s own personality or traits are masked & he/she becomes gradually distracted. Finally, the true identity, self-image and inner self of the victim have faded away.
Attachments typically develop for the reason that If you don’t feel secure, loved, or accepted on your own, you’ll look for someone who can offer comfort and security and help you feel less alone.
Unfortunately, relying too much on support from someone else doesn’t teach you how to meet these needs yourself.
At last, I will recommend that it is very necessary to beware of any toxic and manipulating people in our lives who can purposely make you dependent on them. They are doing it by getting advantage of your emotional attachment with them. Also, there is a need for a positive self-image and well conscious self-esteem so that we can know our purpose of life, goal and ambition in a more clear way. Hence, we can grow in our life, work with more boost and confidence and ultimately lead to a healthy & balanced social and personal life.
